When Your Work Feels Hidden

During back to school time I used to sing along, with much glee, to the Staples commercial, "It's the most wonderful time of the year," as they promoted all the back to school supplies shopping. I will say, that was when my children were younger and summers seemed much longer! Ok, I'll just say it, I thought if the first day of school didn't get here I might not be around to send them back! Don't get me wrong, I loved and still love having my summers with my kids. It was just that yearning of getting back on schedule and having grandiose ideas of what all I could accomplish once I had some quiet. Problem was, the quiet wasn't all that great and my wonderful ideas weren't getting accomplished as fast as I would've liked or even at all. That's when the insecurity and guilt would begin to creep in about being a stay-at-home mom. 

Being a stay-at-home mom has afforded me some great opportunities and has also cost me, but only due to my own insecurity when I didn't live in confidence with the calling of staying home and allowed the world and others to tell me otherwise. There is no doubt that God appointed me to stay home with my children. In the beginning this wasn't that hard to accept. I honestly don't know how I would've gotten 6 of us ready to get out the door and then for me to have one sane thought as I entered the workforce. On one particular day, my husband Bill came home from work, and he didn't have to ask how my day was, because I simply handed him our youngest of the four and said, "I have got to go change my diaper!" Never even phased me as to what I just said! Believe me, there were days I begged for the good Lord to let me go to work outside the home... staying home with  4 kids, all under the age of four was quite exhausting!  However, as time marched on and kids got older I would question as whether or not I was to continue staying home. And every time God would answer in such profound and reassuring ways...YES! But then I'd get thrown for a loop as I was asked, "Don't you feel guilty staying home?" This question has somewhat haunted me up until even now, especially this week as I once again got the kids back in school, with two in college and two in high school.  Those same insecure feelings began to come back, what now...summer is over and I wasn't even singing my favorite back to school song. Initially I thought to myself,  I'll get a part time job (I even put in applications) and help my family financially...and God once again said no. He gently reminded me that the job He had called me to wasn't yet complete, and Yes, He did see me waiting on Him to move my ministry forward even more, as well.

Thankfully God gave me the peace I needed once again as He spoke to me in my devotional from "Jesus Calling" as it said, "Wait with me for a while. I have much to to tell you. You are walking along the path I have chosen for you.... Don't worry about what other people think of you. The work I am doing in you is hidden at first. But eventually blossoms will burst forth, and abundant fruit will be born. Stay on the path of Life with Me. Trust me wholeheartedly, letting my Spirit fill you with Joy and peace." What a comfort and affirmation that was. I truly believe that my blossoms are my children. That what I pour into them is of eternal value and I will see that fruit again! Knowing that my investment in the lives of my children is for eternity, makes it easier to wait with Him a little longer until those blossoms have completely burst forth.  I still believe Him for the blossoms in my ministry to burst forth as well.  Even though my work may be hidden for a while, I trust that in His time my labor for my kids and my ministry will bear fruit bursting forth for His glory!