During back to school time I used to sing along, with much glee, to the Staples commercial, "It's the most wonderful time of the year," as they promoted all the back to school supplies shopping. I will say, that was when my children were younger and summers seemed much longer! Ok, I'll just say it, I thought if the first day of school didn't get here I might not be around to send them back! Don't get me wrong, I loved and still love having my summers with my kids. It was just that yearning of getting back on schedule and having grandiose ideas of what all I could accomplish once I had some quiet. Problem was, the quiet wasn't all that great and my wonderful ideas weren't getting accomplished as fast as I would've liked or even at all. That's when the insecurity and guilt would begin to creep in about being a stay-at-home mom.
Being a stay-at-home mom has afforded me some great opportunities and has also cost me, but only due to my own insecurity when I didn't live in confidence with the calling of staying home and allowed the world and others to tell me otherwise. There is no doubt that God appointed me to stay home with my children. In the beginning this wasn't that hard to accept. I honestly don't know how I would've gotten 6 of us ready to get out the door and then for me to have one sane thought as I entered the workforce. On one particular day, my husband Bill came home from work, and he didn't have to ask how my day was, because I simply handed him our youngest of the four and said, "I have got to go change my diaper!" Never even phased me as to what I just said! Believe me, there were days I begged for the good Lord to let me go to work outside the home... staying home with 4 kids, all under the age of four was quite exhausting! However, as time marched on and kids got older I would question as whether or not I was to continue staying home. And every time God would answer in such profound and reassuring ways...YES! But then I'd get thrown for a loop as I was asked, "Don't you feel guilty staying home?" This question has somewhat haunted me up until even now, especially this week as I once again got the kids back in school, with two in college and two in high school. Those same insecure feelings began to come back, what now...summer is over and I wasn't even singing my favorite back to school song. Initially I thought to myself, I'll get a part time job (I even put in applications) and help my family financially...and God once again said no. He gently reminded me that the job He had called me to wasn't yet complete, and Yes, He did see me waiting on Him to move my ministry forward even more, as well.
Thankfully God gave me the peace I needed once again as He spoke to me in my devotional from "Jesus Calling" as it said, "Wait with me for a while. I have much to to tell you. You are walking along the path I have chosen for you.... Don't worry about what other people think of you. The work I am doing in you is hidden at first. But eventually blossoms will burst forth, and abundant fruit will be born. Stay on the path of Life with Me. Trust me wholeheartedly, letting my Spirit fill you with Joy and peace." What a comfort and affirmation that was. I truly believe that my blossoms are my children. That what I pour into them is of eternal value and I will see that fruit again! Knowing that my investment in the lives of my children is for eternity, makes it easier to wait with Him a little longer until those blossoms have completely burst forth. I still believe Him for the blossoms in my ministry to burst forth as well. Even though my work may be hidden for a while, I trust that in His time my labor for my kids and my ministry will bear fruit bursting forth for His glory!
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Creative Summer Ideas
Ideas
for Creating Summer Memories
(I
know there are tons more that you can find on Pinterest and other resources,
but these are some of our all-time favorites, tried and true.)
1. Summer vacation trip. This is a big
one. If it’s something you can do, go for it. Most of our family summer trips
involve going to the beach with family. We are fortunate to have family who
live in Charleston, so since I was a young girl we have made the trek to
Charleston for many years creating countless memories. Since this was a
“tradition” for me growing up, it was one I wanted to continue with my own
family. It wasn’t “the beach” that made it special, but the family. Now when I take my family (and mind you, it’s
not consistently every year), we still do some of the same traditions I did as
kid on vacation there, from crabbing, to eating at the same restaurant, to
touring the city. We have also begun some of our own traditions. By far, going
to the beach is one of our favorite summer memories.
2. Barbarian Night: This is an all time
favorite that the kids still talk about. Before I explain this one, remember
the “O” Optimize the yes, because Barbarian night entails pretty much what it
sounds like. You will eat like barbarians…no plate, no utensils, just serve the
supper up on the on table. You may want to invest in a cheap disposable plastic
table cloth. Dig in and enjoy as you and the kids get to eat hog wild! I
promise it did not ruin them of their manners.
3. Slip N Slide (or Redneck Water Park):
This one we still do. Go to Lowe’s or Home Depot and purchase the contractor’s
plastic sheeting. Let it out as long as you have room, preferably down a hill.
Then lather it up with soap and get your hose spraying water on the sheeting
and start sliding! This plastic sheeting will last a long time, but if you do
get a rip or tear duct tape on the back works great!
4. Summer Scavenger Hunt: This can be done
anywhere, but we did ours around downtown Chattanooga, the North Shore area,
and Coolidge Park. You will begin at your house and have a certain amount of
envelopes numbered. The kids will open the first envelope with a catchy or
rhyming clue. They will guess where that clue is and you will drive them there
and do the activity that was mentioned in the clue. For example, It’s a place
where many a fish you see, find some running water down steps, go splash and
say “Wee!” (For those not from Chattanooga, that would be our Aquarium.)
Once they’ve
completed clue #1 give them clue #2, and so on it continues with as many clues
as you see fit. Your final clue could involve the other parent or another adult
being at the ending point with a picnic. This one is really endless on how many
different things you could do around Chattanooga and even in your own
neighborhood.
5. Tour Chattanooga! Don’t forget what all
is around us to enjoy. We do live in the Scenic City and there are lots of
things to do with little to minimal cost. You can drive up Signal Mountain to
Point Park or ride the Incline up and walk to Point Park. Take a hike at
Raccoon Mountain (they have easy to difficult trails.) Visit again for the
first time, Rock City, Ruby Falls, The Aquarium, try a Duck tour, or check out
the art district. Also, check out some places in Georgia, for example the town
of Chickamauga and the battlefields.
6. Make a picnic table. This was a fun
project we did with our kids. They got to help build the table then enjoy
eating many a meal outside on “their” table they made. To this day, our kids
love to eat outside. (Check Lowe’s and Home Depot, they used to have kits. Ours
could be used as both a picnic table and or benches!)
7. Take a walk or bike ride on the Greenway.
You can make the route as short or as long as you would like. When we had
yearly passes to the Aquarium we would park the van along the Greenway and ride
our bikes on the Greenway into downtown to the Aquarium. We would go in just to
see our favorite exhibits and get cooled off then ride back to the car. We
would also ride to Coolidge Park and play in the fountain and then ride back. I
won’t lie, some trips were more challenging than others with 6 of us being on
bikes! Still worth the memory.
8. Pick Blackberries. Sometimes we
combined this with our bike rides when we lived in Nashville and there were
blackberry bushes along the Greenway trail. We would tie a plastic grocery bag
to their handlebars and they would fill them up with blackberries, then we
would ride back and go make a blackberry cobbler. (Just did this one this
morning!)
9. Go to the Farmer’s Market: Find a
Farmer’s Market near you, and before you go let the kids pick a recipe to make
with vegetables and or fruit. Allow the kids to pick out the produce, then go
back home and make the recipe.
10. Themed Dinners: Get the kids involved
to help plan a themed dinner night, from Italian to Chinese. Cook that type of
food, decorate the kitchen in that theme, and even allow them to dress the
part. Don’t worry about making this perfect, it’s more about the kids taking a
part and being creative in their own way. It’s so much fun to see what they
come up with on their own.
11. Take Your Pick Jar (or the I am Bored Jar):
Decorate a jar and place in it simple things to do around the house or things
to go do. You can write them on strips of colorful paper or use craft sticks.
This is especially good when the inevitable “I’m bored” begins to be said. For
example; go get ice cream, go play in the sprinkler, build a fort, have a water
balloon fight, go to a movie. The ideas are endless! Have a stash of things
from the Dollar Tree you can pull out and use that would be new to them. Such
as water guns for water gun fight, or art supplies for craft projects. You can
also have Mom’s pick or kids pick, whoever’s name is on the stick they get to
decide what to go do.
12. Dinner Table “Dish” from the Day: This
is a great way to get conversation going at the table, while giving everyone a
chance to talk! Everyone gets to tell
about their day. Typically, my husband, Bill, would say this “corny,” yet cute,
catchy saying…”whoever I point to has to tell me their favorite thing they did
today.” When the kids were younger, they couldn’t wait to be chosen. And yes,
we still do this one today…with lots of laughs as Bill uses his corny saying (I
want to say rhyme…but obviously nothing rhymes!)
13. Display the Immeasurably More: Write down
the “immeasurably more” God is doing on one sheet of paper with the Ephesians
3:20 verse “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or
imagine, according to His power that is at work within us,” at top, and on the
other sheet of paper for prayer requests, write Philippians 4:6 “Do not be
anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with
thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Place in a visible spot, mine is
on the refrigerator. Let all the family members write down the immeasurably
more they see God providing. One the other sheet, to help all Make the Most of
the Moment and not worry about what’s next or tomorrow, write their prayer
requests. It’s a great way to see how God can take the requests and give the
immeasurably more.
It is my prayer
that you allow God to help you make the MOST of your summer memories.
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
How to Make the M.O.S.T. of Your Summer Memories
Making the M.O.S.T. of Summer Memories
Recently I was asked to share with
Middle Valley Baptist on how to “Create Summer Memories.” Having four kids in 4
½ years and being a stay-at-home mom/minister’s wife, I have had to get pretty
creative in making summer memories. Some of it was out of pure necessity so we
wouldn’t go crazy or harm each other! By far, some of the best memories were
the ones that required little to no money! As I was talking and reminiscing
with my much older kids, now 16, 17, 19, and 20 on some of their favorite
memories, my oldest daughter looked at me, with a somewhat horrified face and
said “Mom, you’re not going to tell them about our trips to Sam’s?” to which I
replied, “Absolutely!” These trips involved taking our much younger children
and pushing them around on the flatbed carts, eating the samples, and then
ordering a pizza from the deli. Exciting, right? Well, actually it was for our
kids at that time, and to this day, even Mary Allyson says it was one of her
favorite memories!
I am going to date
myself when I say this, but it seems summers aren’t as lazy and laid back as
they used to be. Carving out the memories may take more intentionality these
days, but one word of warning, don’t get on FaceBook, Instagram, Twitter, or
Pinterest and compare your summer to someone else’s! What you’ll see there are
picture perfect profiles, with picture perfect “vacays” and no “staycays!” You will not see your friends’ post that
their toddler who’s being potty-trained cleared the hotel’s pool. Nor will you
hear how excruciating the car ride was with the un-relenting questions and
arguing.
So how do you
create summer memories? As I was praying over what to write and share, it
occurred to me that my audience already has the resources at their fingertips.
They can google, get on Pinterest, and find blogs on this very topic. However,
as I prayed, God gave me one word to focus on that would benefit all of us making
great summer memories for our kids. That one word is MOST, and to give a twist
on the topic, it would be, “How To Make the M.O.S.T. Of the Moments God Gives
You.” To make this easier to remember we’re going to use the word MOST in an
acrostic.
“M” stands for Maximize the Moment. Simply put, practice being present in the
moment. Make the most of the moment by enjoying it and living in it, rather
than anticipating the next thing and focusing on what’s next, maximize the
moment that’s before you. When we rush through the moment, we miss the fullness
of that moment. Don’t miss the now, for the next. One concept I try to put in
place is to be present in the moment. The idea is to not rush the moment
because the idea is to create a memory and that’s hard to do if you’re rushing
through it to get to the next thing. Maximize the moment by not missing the
moment. This one will step on some of our toes, but have you noticed you miss
moments because you’re too worried about capturing them and posting them on
FaceBook, twitter, or instagram? One of the best things we can do to maximize
the moments in our summer memories is to put the phone down. Here’s a side note, many of you like me think
you can multi-task. Research shows that just by looking at your phone or
leaving a task it takes at least 10 minutes to re-engage and get back to the
train of thought where you left off! So, sit back and take it all in, Maximize
the Moment, so it will create a memory!
The next thing you
will want to do in creating a memory is to “O” Optimize the Yes!
Essentially, say yes to as many things as you can and leave the no’s for the
big ones. Having more yes’s gives kids a greater respect for the no when it
needs to be implemented. For example, you’re tired, you’ve just cleaned up the
house again for the 40th time, fixed three meals and umpteen snacks
and the kids ask if they can build a fort in the den! Typically what our kids
are asking for isn’t something we can’t provide or something that is morally
wrong, it usually comes down to our own time and selfishness! UGH! Now, please
don’t hear me say to give your kids whatever they want, when they want it.
There are boundaries we already need to have in place, so the “yes” is an
affirmative, not something that gives entitlement or to just appease. Some of
our best memories have come from the “yes” moments, not necessarily those that
were planned. For example, riding on the flatbeds in Sam’s Club. This concept
continues into the teen years as well. I still try to give more yes’s than
no’s, so when there is a need for a no they respect it. So when the youngest
asks to go practice driving, and there’s nothing standing in my way except my
own desires, I try to make it a yes!
As we move to
next letter, keep in mind that the “M” Maximize the Moment and the “O” Optimize
the Yes go along with the next letter “S”
Stop and Share in the Moment. Don’t
hang out on the sidelines, be an active part in the moment, allowing the memory
to go deeper. Instead of just being the conduit to creating the opportunities
and memories, stop and share in the moments, participate in the moment. As it
ties back to the letter “M,” as you stop and share in the moment being an
active part, it helps you savor and maximize that moment even more. It also
ties back to the “O” as we stop and share in the moment by saying “yes” to
being a part. Kids love when we join them in the fun, even the big kids!
Just the other
night we were having a great conversation at dinner when the phone rings with
our youngest reminding us to come pick her up from swim practice (yes, time had
slipped away…we forgot.) Instead of us all dispersing, with someone going to
pick her up and the others cleaning up, my husband said let’s continue this
conversation in the car and all go get Annabelle! The dishes could wait, but
this was a moment we all wanted to share in, so we all piled in the car
continued the conversation and picked Annabelle up. She did wonder if it was
some type of intervention! LOL!
Last, the letter
“T” stands for Trust God For The Immeasurably More. Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now to
Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according
to His power that is at work within us.” You may be thinking how does this
apply to Creating Summer Memories, well we’re looking at how to make the MOST
of them and the one that can do that is God, much more than a travel agent or
pinterest. I have watched God do the immeasurably more with the smallest of
family memories to the greatest. He’s taken what might have seemed as an
insignificant moment and made it magnificent, and I have seen Him take a really
great moment and make it over the top majestic. The key to this one is allowing
Him to work and us relinquishing the control.
One year we finally got to take the kids to Disney World. Already, God had
been at work in putting this whole trip together. However, my husband, Bill,
just wasn’t sure of it all. He just kept saying, I know we’re going to get to
the park and they’re going to stick it to us! I kept trying to reassure him
that everything was taken care of. That first day before we went to the park,
Bill had been up praying and having his quiet time before we all got ready. As
we drove to the park, the kids were all excited as there was a sky writer plane
over the park writing something. Finally, we could see that it said “Trust
Jesus!” Not only did the sky writing plane write it once, but twice to “Trust
Jesus.” I looked at Bill and he looked a little shaken and I asked what’s
wrong. He said, you’re not going to believe this but, this morning as I prayed I
told God I was still anxious about this whole trip and that I needed to trust
Him, but He was going to have to write it in the sky! Well, its obvious God
did. We will never forget that moment, nor that trip, because God truly gave us
the immeasurably more, and it was because of Mickey’s Magic, but my God’s almighty power
who wants to do the immeasurably more!
It is my prayer
that all of you will make the M.O.S.T. of your summer memories as you allow God
to help you create them and watch Him do the immeasurably more.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Who's On Your Valentine's List?
It's Valentine's week, if you haven't already noticed. My word, I don't remember such large sections of stores committed to this holiday. No more just heart-shaped boxes full of surprise chocolate candy! As I strolled through Target there was every kind of candy in such appealing packages it was hard not to get sucked in.! And so I did, because they had M&M's in my favorite colors, pink and green, with sweet words written on them! Yes, I did buy some:) I even bought the "cute and healthy" popcorn because it was all dressed up in pink and purple with a cute bowl for it to be served in! Then I had to remind myself that God gave me a "spirit of self-control" and left the Valentine's aisles (well only after putting the red velvet Oreo's in my cart as well!)
This Valentine's Day, my oldest daughter gets to experience it for the first time with a "real" Valentine, a real boyfriend. So I may embarrass her here a little...or a lot...but I love that she's almost 19 years old and just now experiencing this holiday with a boyfriend. She has always longed to have that special valentine on this special day, because then everything would be as it was meant to be...or at least as the advertisers told her it should be! Certainly, I understand that there are lots out there who have yet to experience this, to which those have been on my heart. But in retrospect, even those who do have "a valentine"on this special day, its seems we've made much to do over this one day. It's the "have's" and the "have not's!"
So I want to look at Valentine's day....this day of love a little differently. Whether you are a "have" or a "have not," if you are a Christ follower, a believer in Him, we are all "haves" because we have already been given the greatest gift of love! "For God so loved (you) the world....that He gave...His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life." Go with me here, God already delivered The Real Valentine, the greatest gift of love...His Son! He made it so that we all could "have" this love, not one person to be left out. To paraphrase I John 4:7-12, Love comes from God...God is love. He showed love to us by giving His Son to us that we might live through Him. It wasn't that we loved God first, then He sent His Son, but it was God who loved us first and sent His Son to be a sacrifice for our sins. Lest I remind you, Christ didn't come all packaged up in a pretty heart-shaped box, nor did he die a pretty death. He was born in a manger and died a brutal death by crucifixion on the cross...for me, for you. There is no greater love than Christ laying down his life for us.
So here's my question...my take away. Instead of being so focused on being a "have" (even if it's your first real Valentine's day), or a "have not"(just holding your breath till the day passes), let's be thankful for what we "have" already been given. That is the ultimate Valentine God sent to us through His Son. God loved me and you so much that He gave. What is it this Valentine's day we can give back to God? Is He even on your Valentine's list. Remember the days of making a Valentine box out of a shoe box and then having the names of your classmates, carefully marking each one off after you finished their valentine. Have you taken the time in the hustle and bustle of life and sat at his feet long enough to know what He would like to receive from you? Because having been a "have" and a "have not," either way I knew what I wanted from someone, or what I wanted to give someone.
For Anita so loved God that she gave Him...
Her Heart, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and, mind....
Her Quiet Time, have I grown in my relationship with Christ...Or am I still where I was last year.
Her Firsts of time and money
Her Attitude
Her Worship
Her Ministry
Her Family
Whether you're a "have" or a "have not" this Valentine's day, you have already received the ultimate Valentine's gift. He's priceless, He's a gift no one else has ever given you, nor ever will, He's not one you would exchange, He's a perfect fit, He will never wear out, He's forever, and He's practical for everyday use.
Just as I know my daughter has thrilled in getting together a special and meaningful gift for her sweet boyfriend, we should feel the same way in planning and thrilling to give something so special to God.
We love because he first loved us!
And P.S.
Maybe you're a "have not" in the sense that ...you're not a Christ follower...well guess what...that same gift of love is available for you. Romans 10:9-10 says, "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."
This Valentine's Day, my oldest daughter gets to experience it for the first time with a "real" Valentine, a real boyfriend. So I may embarrass her here a little...or a lot...but I love that she's almost 19 years old and just now experiencing this holiday with a boyfriend. She has always longed to have that special valentine on this special day, because then everything would be as it was meant to be...or at least as the advertisers told her it should be! Certainly, I understand that there are lots out there who have yet to experience this, to which those have been on my heart. But in retrospect, even those who do have "a valentine"on this special day, its seems we've made much to do over this one day. It's the "have's" and the "have not's!"
So I want to look at Valentine's day....this day of love a little differently. Whether you are a "have" or a "have not," if you are a Christ follower, a believer in Him, we are all "haves" because we have already been given the greatest gift of love! "For God so loved (you) the world....that He gave...His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life." Go with me here, God already delivered The Real Valentine, the greatest gift of love...His Son! He made it so that we all could "have" this love, not one person to be left out. To paraphrase I John 4:7-12, Love comes from God...God is love. He showed love to us by giving His Son to us that we might live through Him. It wasn't that we loved God first, then He sent His Son, but it was God who loved us first and sent His Son to be a sacrifice for our sins. Lest I remind you, Christ didn't come all packaged up in a pretty heart-shaped box, nor did he die a pretty death. He was born in a manger and died a brutal death by crucifixion on the cross...for me, for you. There is no greater love than Christ laying down his life for us.
So here's my question...my take away. Instead of being so focused on being a "have" (even if it's your first real Valentine's day), or a "have not"(just holding your breath till the day passes), let's be thankful for what we "have" already been given. That is the ultimate Valentine God sent to us through His Son. God loved me and you so much that He gave. What is it this Valentine's day we can give back to God? Is He even on your Valentine's list. Remember the days of making a Valentine box out of a shoe box and then having the names of your classmates, carefully marking each one off after you finished their valentine. Have you taken the time in the hustle and bustle of life and sat at his feet long enough to know what He would like to receive from you? Because having been a "have" and a "have not," either way I knew what I wanted from someone, or what I wanted to give someone.
For Anita so loved God that she gave Him...
Her Heart, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and, mind....
Her Quiet Time, have I grown in my relationship with Christ...Or am I still where I was last year.
Her Firsts of time and money
Her Attitude
Her Worship
Her Ministry
Her Family
Whether you're a "have" or a "have not" this Valentine's day, you have already received the ultimate Valentine's gift. He's priceless, He's a gift no one else has ever given you, nor ever will, He's not one you would exchange, He's a perfect fit, He will never wear out, He's forever, and He's practical for everyday use.
Just as I know my daughter has thrilled in getting together a special and meaningful gift for her sweet boyfriend, we should feel the same way in planning and thrilling to give something so special to God.
We love because he first loved us!
And P.S.
Maybe you're a "have not" in the sense that ...you're not a Christ follower...well guess what...that same gift of love is available for you. Romans 10:9-10 says, "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved."
Friday, March 18, 2011
Here We Go Again
So here we go again, cheer tryouts! I posted on this topic about the same time last year, and since it seemed to be good therapy for me, thought I would do it again. Last year during this time, I was wrestling with the issue of fear; fear that my daughter, Mary Allyson, would not make cheerleading. This fear consumed me, but as I marched on in battle against the one who brings fear, I seemed to triumph through trusting and believing in Jesus and His plans for her. Regardless the outcome, I would trust God in His plans, knowing that it says in I John 4:18 “perfect love drives out fear.” That perfect love can only come from God’s son, Jesus Christ.
Yet, one year later, I don’t like to admit it, but that same fear has crept back in. However, this time God has showed me a new perspective in all this week of tryouts. You see, this year’s tryouts are a little different. You have to do your back handspring without someone spotting you. Problem is, Mary Allyson has a mental block right now and will not do it without someone standing there beside her. They don’t even have to touch her for her to do it, but she needs the presence of someone there physically beside her.
God has given me several truths from His word through this week. For one, as I’ve explained to Mary Allyson, your identity is first in Christ, not in cheerleading. And let me just go ahead and take that a step further, as I told my own self, my identity is also not in just being a cheer mom, but in being a child of God! As God’s child, my identity should first and foremost be that in Christ. Unfortunately, I too often place my identity on other things, such as who my kids are or what role I am playing in the community or church. For others, it could be your job you identify most with, or where you live, or what you drive, or who you know, or what you wear, or where you eat, or where you vacation….and the list could go on. If I continue to find my identity in these things, and not in Christ I will exhaust myself and never find fulfillment or contentment. God’s word says in Isaiah 26:3 “ You will keep in perfect peace the mind that is dependant on you, for it is trusting in you.” I want that peace, which means my dependence and trust has to be on Him and not on or in these other things, including cheerleading! As I told Mary Allyson, her end all be all is not wrapped up in being a cheerleader, but in being a sold-out Christ follower! That’s of eternal worth. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of good in cheerleading. For one, it allows the girls to develop good leadership qualities, along with being role models for the student body, but this is not where our true identity comes from.
Another truth I’ve learned from this week is that sometimes God doesn’t remove the fear, yet He allows us to walk through it. This being only so that we become more mature in our faith. James 1:2-4 says, 2 Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy.
3 For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.
Believe me I don’t like these times when I’m going through them, but in the end…eventually… I do like the results. Just like Mary Allyson wants someone there physically beside her, I am just that way as well when I am going through some tough times. Yet, there are times, when I’ve got to come to the line on some things by myself. It’s a time where God is calling me out on my own, but not entirely on my own because He is there with me. No, I can’t see Him, but I trust that His presence is there within me.
Once again, I don’t know what the outcome will be today, but I do know where my true identity lies, in that of the life of Christ. I pray that through this time Mary Allyson has also gained a deeper understanding of who she is in Christ, and not just who she is as a cheerleader.
Yet, one year later, I don’t like to admit it, but that same fear has crept back in. However, this time God has showed me a new perspective in all this week of tryouts. You see, this year’s tryouts are a little different. You have to do your back handspring without someone spotting you. Problem is, Mary Allyson has a mental block right now and will not do it without someone standing there beside her. They don’t even have to touch her for her to do it, but she needs the presence of someone there physically beside her.
God has given me several truths from His word through this week. For one, as I’ve explained to Mary Allyson, your identity is first in Christ, not in cheerleading. And let me just go ahead and take that a step further, as I told my own self, my identity is also not in just being a cheer mom, but in being a child of God! As God’s child, my identity should first and foremost be that in Christ. Unfortunately, I too often place my identity on other things, such as who my kids are or what role I am playing in the community or church. For others, it could be your job you identify most with, or where you live, or what you drive, or who you know, or what you wear, or where you eat, or where you vacation….and the list could go on. If I continue to find my identity in these things, and not in Christ I will exhaust myself and never find fulfillment or contentment. God’s word says in Isaiah 26:3 “ You will keep in perfect peace the mind that is dependant on you, for it is trusting in you.” I want that peace, which means my dependence and trust has to be on Him and not on or in these other things, including cheerleading! As I told Mary Allyson, her end all be all is not wrapped up in being a cheerleader, but in being a sold-out Christ follower! That’s of eternal worth. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of good in cheerleading. For one, it allows the girls to develop good leadership qualities, along with being role models for the student body, but this is not where our true identity comes from.
Another truth I’ve learned from this week is that sometimes God doesn’t remove the fear, yet He allows us to walk through it. This being only so that we become more mature in our faith. James 1:2-4 says, 2 Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy.
3 For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.
Believe me I don’t like these times when I’m going through them, but in the end…eventually… I do like the results. Just like Mary Allyson wants someone there physically beside her, I am just that way as well when I am going through some tough times. Yet, there are times, when I’ve got to come to the line on some things by myself. It’s a time where God is calling me out on my own, but not entirely on my own because He is there with me. No, I can’t see Him, but I trust that His presence is there within me.
Once again, I don’t know what the outcome will be today, but I do know where my true identity lies, in that of the life of Christ. I pray that through this time Mary Allyson has also gained a deeper understanding of who she is in Christ, and not just who she is as a cheerleader.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
“The Courage to Stand”
Anita McGinnis
When I was a young girl I had to have a special retainer made for my mouth to keep me from sucking my thumb, yes it’s a little embarrassing, and it gets worse. Each time I would go to the orthodontist to have it checked, I would make it through with flying colors, until the doctor would have my mom come back to see the progress. I would be standing between them with mouth open, however, in seconds I would be sliding down between the two of them. I would just faint! I could not stand for just a few seconds, my fear and weakness would take over!
As Christians, we are told to take bold stands for Christ. Ephesians 6:13 says, “Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” As Paul closes his letter to the church of Ephesus, he repeatedly tells them “to stand.” So why was this standing so important?
Paul may have been writing from an up close and personal illustration as he was in prison and likely chained to a Roman soldier. In the day of battle, Roman soldiers were to stand their ground and not retreat. The Greek word for stand in verse 13 means to “withstand” or “stand against.” In a military sense of the word, it’s the idea of holding a critical position while under attack. Paul’s readers would’ve understood this illustration, because they knew the importance of standing their ground while under attack. If under attack it was crucial the soldiers stand their ground together and not break rank, in doing so their legions were considered virtually invincible. They created a “phlanx”, or a better way to explain it, is like the shell of a turtle. The soldiers would use their long shields to cover them on all sides and above. However, if one soldier decided to retreat, the entire legion was left in danger of the enemy getting a foothold. Likewise, the one who retreated was in danger as well, because the enemy had an open target.
Our basic responsibility in fighting against the devil’s schemes is to stand our ground and not retreat. In doing so, we don’t give the devil any new ground to work and build on. Unfortunately, we have times, like me in the orthodontist office, when we do get weak and scarred, and we faint! We are unable to stand our ground for the cause of Christ. When we give in, break rank, we give that ground over to the devil to do what he pleases. Perhaps our Christian bubbles are safe places to be, however, when we retreat to these places instead of standing our ground we are no longer an influence for Christ. Rather, we are a conduit for Satan to take over even more ground. In his book, Grace-Based Parenting, Dr. Tim Kimmel explains the statistics and research that shows when our nation really began to become secularized. The author dates it to the 1960’s and 1970’s. To summarize the author, he describes Christians instead of standing their ground as retreating to their safe-havens. This is when the development of Christian schools, home schooling, and Christian businesses of all kinds from bookstores to radio and television programs to Christian cruises began to take on a whole new course, that of catering to Christians. Dr. Kimmel writes, “What’s ironic is that the “secularization” of the non-Christian community has risen proportionately with our withdrawal from it. The more options the Christian community created for itself, the more our general culture moved toward secular thinking, the corollary being that the less we need to engage the lost world around us, the more it will be left to its own devices,” . Instead of Christians standing their ground, a critical position, they retreated to their Christian bubbles. One has to wonder what our nation would look like had we stood our ground in some of these battles. I think of Jesus and his ministry on earth. Did he retreat to the safe places? Did he find where could be comforted and not challenged? Did he find those like him to always be around?
Not long ago, I was posed with just such a situation. Would I stand my ground, or would I retreat? As I was in a store I frequent often at the entrance to our neighborhood, I was shocked to see the “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit” edition placed very strategically on the end of an aisle. There it was for all to see and behold, and all at eye level. Typically magazines of this type are positioned in the magazine section up high. It was at this moment I had a decision to make, would I stand my ground and ask that they remove the magazine with the half nude model on the front, or would I retreat to my safe place? With some fear and trepidation I asked to speak with the manager. I explained to the manager that I did not think this represented the company well, nor did it need to be in clear view for all ages to see! Then like that, the manager said, “Thank you for saying something, I only needed one customer to complain so that I could move it!” You see “Sports Illustrated” had paid to have their magazine on some prime ground, but it only took one slightly scarred mom to stand up and stand her ground and ask for it to be removed.
We all have choices each day as to whether or not we will stand our ground or simply retreat. Believe me; I’ve done my fair share of retreating! However, I want to have courage and boldness to stand on the ground God has given me and fight the battle so that “after having done everything,” I will be found standing! I’ve given Satan a big enough playground already!
Anita McGinnis
When I was a young girl I had to have a special retainer made for my mouth to keep me from sucking my thumb, yes it’s a little embarrassing, and it gets worse. Each time I would go to the orthodontist to have it checked, I would make it through with flying colors, until the doctor would have my mom come back to see the progress. I would be standing between them with mouth open, however, in seconds I would be sliding down between the two of them. I would just faint! I could not stand for just a few seconds, my fear and weakness would take over!
As Christians, we are told to take bold stands for Christ. Ephesians 6:13 says, “Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” As Paul closes his letter to the church of Ephesus, he repeatedly tells them “to stand.” So why was this standing so important?
Paul may have been writing from an up close and personal illustration as he was in prison and likely chained to a Roman soldier. In the day of battle, Roman soldiers were to stand their ground and not retreat. The Greek word for stand in verse 13 means to “withstand” or “stand against.” In a military sense of the word, it’s the idea of holding a critical position while under attack. Paul’s readers would’ve understood this illustration, because they knew the importance of standing their ground while under attack. If under attack it was crucial the soldiers stand their ground together and not break rank, in doing so their legions were considered virtually invincible. They created a “phlanx”, or a better way to explain it, is like the shell of a turtle. The soldiers would use their long shields to cover them on all sides and above. However, if one soldier decided to retreat, the entire legion was left in danger of the enemy getting a foothold. Likewise, the one who retreated was in danger as well, because the enemy had an open target.
Our basic responsibility in fighting against the devil’s schemes is to stand our ground and not retreat. In doing so, we don’t give the devil any new ground to work and build on. Unfortunately, we have times, like me in the orthodontist office, when we do get weak and scarred, and we faint! We are unable to stand our ground for the cause of Christ. When we give in, break rank, we give that ground over to the devil to do what he pleases. Perhaps our Christian bubbles are safe places to be, however, when we retreat to these places instead of standing our ground we are no longer an influence for Christ. Rather, we are a conduit for Satan to take over even more ground. In his book, Grace-Based Parenting, Dr. Tim Kimmel explains the statistics and research that shows when our nation really began to become secularized. The author dates it to the 1960’s and 1970’s. To summarize the author, he describes Christians instead of standing their ground as retreating to their safe-havens. This is when the development of Christian schools, home schooling, and Christian businesses of all kinds from bookstores to radio and television programs to Christian cruises began to take on a whole new course, that of catering to Christians. Dr. Kimmel writes, “What’s ironic is that the “secularization” of the non-Christian community has risen proportionately with our withdrawal from it. The more options the Christian community created for itself, the more our general culture moved toward secular thinking, the corollary being that the less we need to engage the lost world around us, the more it will be left to its own devices,” . Instead of Christians standing their ground, a critical position, they retreated to their Christian bubbles. One has to wonder what our nation would look like had we stood our ground in some of these battles. I think of Jesus and his ministry on earth. Did he retreat to the safe places? Did he find where could be comforted and not challenged? Did he find those like him to always be around?
Not long ago, I was posed with just such a situation. Would I stand my ground, or would I retreat? As I was in a store I frequent often at the entrance to our neighborhood, I was shocked to see the “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit” edition placed very strategically on the end of an aisle. There it was for all to see and behold, and all at eye level. Typically magazines of this type are positioned in the magazine section up high. It was at this moment I had a decision to make, would I stand my ground and ask that they remove the magazine with the half nude model on the front, or would I retreat to my safe place? With some fear and trepidation I asked to speak with the manager. I explained to the manager that I did not think this represented the company well, nor did it need to be in clear view for all ages to see! Then like that, the manager said, “Thank you for saying something, I only needed one customer to complain so that I could move it!” You see “Sports Illustrated” had paid to have their magazine on some prime ground, but it only took one slightly scarred mom to stand up and stand her ground and ask for it to be removed.
We all have choices each day as to whether or not we will stand our ground or simply retreat. Believe me; I’ve done my fair share of retreating! However, I want to have courage and boldness to stand on the ground God has given me and fight the battle so that “after having done everything,” I will be found standing! I’ve given Satan a big enough playground already!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Give Yourself Permission To Fail
Cheer Try-Outs. Just reading those words may give some of you butterflies. For others, it doesn’t have much affect at all. However, we have all gone out for something, only to find out we “didn’t make it.” So what does that really mean in our lives and how can it be a positive more than a negative.
Maybe you’ve guessed by now, but I, well let me clarify, two of my daughters (though it felt as if I did it with them) just went through the week of cheer try-outs for the second time this month. This time it was with my 3rd daughter trying out for Middle School cheerleader. Daughter # 3 is a very determined girl, and more on the tom-boy side than girly-girl. She is my go-to-girl, she can make things happen and get them done. Probably my most logical child, lots of common sense. So all that said, she had been struggling as to whether or not to go out for cheerleading. She wasn’t sure if she would like it or not. Part of what she had seen was her older sister cheering (and all the fun that goes along with it) for three years and now headed into her fourth. So I’m sure that had some influence on her decision.
Both my husband and I encouraged daughter #3 to try out since she was so unsure, although telling her the opposite would’ve been easier. We explained that she would not know unless she tried, and even if she didn’t make it she would know that she gave it a try and have a better feel of what and where her niche is according to her gifts and abilities. Even went as far to share my story about “trying out” for the UT Crew Team. Let’s just say that it was extremely hard and wasn’t quite my niche, especially since I didn’t get to be the person that sat on the front of the boat and called out all the orders! Lots more details but that will be for another blog.
So the decision was made, she would try out. The first day of try outs was hard, but she came out bubbling, yet tired. I thought this was a good sign, especially since they were learning the dance! Day Two was a different story. After practicing with some other girls after the official practice, she had a melt down. Nothing was coming together. Being overly tired didn’t help, but also was the fact that daughter #3 has always struggled with auditory processing, which is taking in the words and then speaking them back out, which now they also had motions with them! Best thing was to call it a night, and let her sleep on her decision to quit. Prayers were said and then to bed.
Much to our surprise the next morning she announced that she wanted to keep going. For me, that was already a win, it would’ve been easier for her to throw in the towel at that point. Day three of try outs went even better, and it all began to click for her! The dance, the cheers and the chant were all coming together! How fun to watch the smile on her face. So after more practice that night it was time for some much needed rest for the tryouts the next day! Just writing that still gives me butterflies.
The day of tryouts, she was excited and confident! It was as if she unlocked another aspect to her character and personality. Yet, there was still another key to be turned, and this one came as she prayed on the way to tryouts in the car. Of course she prayed she wouldn’t mess up and she would make it, but the most resounding theme of her prayer was “God even if I don’t make it, I know you have another plan for me! That was enough to put me in tears right there. It was also a new part of her Christian life that was being lived out, trusting in God for His plans and purposes for her.
The results would be posted that night on the gym door, yes for all to see. Our plan was she would go with me to the school a little bit early since I had a cheer meeting for my other daughter. It was my hope that I would be out of meeting in time to go with her to see “the list.” However, since I was still in my meeting she went on ahead with some friends to find out the results. As I came out of my meeting, her face said it all, no words needed to be spoken. My heart sank and broke for her all at once. I just wanted to pick her up and let her know it was all ok, that it’s not the end of the world, to which I tried my best. But in her determination she wanted me to see “it” for myself. Daughter #3 showing her gutsy, fireball side at this point, said in her words, “I’m not sad, I’m mad.” By the time we made our way to the “list” all those who had made it were celebrating, with very good reason, but this opened up the gate for the tears to fall.
Thankfully, Bill had gotten to the school by this time.
So as she took off crying around the outside of the school he followed her and took her on home. This was probably good, so I could have my own good cry! After I made it home I wrapped her up in my arms and told her how proud I was of her and the accomplishment of trying out and reminding her that out of that whole big school she was one of the 40 that “went for it.” From here I just listened, there would be a better time to share later.
These tryouts taught both of us some life lessons. For one, it is ok to give yourself permission to fail. That may sound weird at first, I understand, because I felt the same way when my husband first shared this insight with me. It sounds wrong because we have wired ourselves to succeed at all costs. Only problem is when we do fail, we fail to recognize some important truths. We only see the fail as a failure. For daughter #3, going ahead with tryouts was a win and success even though ultimately she failed to make the squad. One of the wins was her pushing through to the very end. She realized (and so did we) she could learn all the stuff in a short amount of time. That was huge for her and us! Our “fireball” also demonstrated in a more mature way her faith and trust in God for His plan for her life. As we talked about her prayer and the verse in Jeremiah 29:11 that says, 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” From this “fail” she now more than ever wants to search out with God the plans He has for her. The really cool part in all of this is she’s moving to the next and very important part of that verse which says 12 “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD.” Now, at night before bed, she reads her Bible longing to hear God speak the plans He has for her. In this waiting time of hearing God speak, she can’t help but grow closer to Christ and in her relationship with Him. To me, that doesn’t sound like a fail, but an experience for a lifetime that has eternal value and worth!
In the end she has learned cheering might not be best suited for her and the gifts God has given her. But how would she have known for sure had she not tried. Not only does she recognize more so where her strengths and abilities lie, but she also sees where other people’s are, like her older sister’s. This experience has caused her to have more respect for her older sister and the sport of cheerleading!
I think we could all learn a lesson here, namely, that it is ok to try things, (I’m hoping you’re understanding things that are legal, moral, upright… you get the picture). I have yet to regret going out for the crew team. I know what is required and what it feels like to be flying across the water asking forgiveness of every sin if God would just get me back to the land without dumping all my crewmates in the water! I also don’t regret trying ballet in college, even though I couldn’t quite pirouette like the others across the floor. I discovered that these things were fun, but not so much for me.
So go ahead and give yourself permission to fail, this may open up a whole new world for you! The only regret you might have is why you didn’t try it earlier. Who knows, you may even discover a fresh, new talent. It may also reinforce some traits and abilities you already know about yourself, that you are gifted in, and that’s where your focus needs to stay. For others, the “fail” may push you even harder to go after “it” with gusto, not to hold back, but to strive and train for the ultimate win, that of making the “team.” Sometimes our biggest fails may lead us to our greatest success!
Maybe you’ve guessed by now, but I, well let me clarify, two of my daughters (though it felt as if I did it with them) just went through the week of cheer try-outs for the second time this month. This time it was with my 3rd daughter trying out for Middle School cheerleader. Daughter # 3 is a very determined girl, and more on the tom-boy side than girly-girl. She is my go-to-girl, she can make things happen and get them done. Probably my most logical child, lots of common sense. So all that said, she had been struggling as to whether or not to go out for cheerleading. She wasn’t sure if she would like it or not. Part of what she had seen was her older sister cheering (and all the fun that goes along with it) for three years and now headed into her fourth. So I’m sure that had some influence on her decision.
Both my husband and I encouraged daughter #3 to try out since she was so unsure, although telling her the opposite would’ve been easier. We explained that she would not know unless she tried, and even if she didn’t make it she would know that she gave it a try and have a better feel of what and where her niche is according to her gifts and abilities. Even went as far to share my story about “trying out” for the UT Crew Team. Let’s just say that it was extremely hard and wasn’t quite my niche, especially since I didn’t get to be the person that sat on the front of the boat and called out all the orders! Lots more details but that will be for another blog.
So the decision was made, she would try out. The first day of try outs was hard, but she came out bubbling, yet tired. I thought this was a good sign, especially since they were learning the dance! Day Two was a different story. After practicing with some other girls after the official practice, she had a melt down. Nothing was coming together. Being overly tired didn’t help, but also was the fact that daughter #3 has always struggled with auditory processing, which is taking in the words and then speaking them back out, which now they also had motions with them! Best thing was to call it a night, and let her sleep on her decision to quit. Prayers were said and then to bed.
Much to our surprise the next morning she announced that she wanted to keep going. For me, that was already a win, it would’ve been easier for her to throw in the towel at that point. Day three of try outs went even better, and it all began to click for her! The dance, the cheers and the chant were all coming together! How fun to watch the smile on her face. So after more practice that night it was time for some much needed rest for the tryouts the next day! Just writing that still gives me butterflies.
The day of tryouts, she was excited and confident! It was as if she unlocked another aspect to her character and personality. Yet, there was still another key to be turned, and this one came as she prayed on the way to tryouts in the car. Of course she prayed she wouldn’t mess up and she would make it, but the most resounding theme of her prayer was “God even if I don’t make it, I know you have another plan for me! That was enough to put me in tears right there. It was also a new part of her Christian life that was being lived out, trusting in God for His plans and purposes for her.
The results would be posted that night on the gym door, yes for all to see. Our plan was she would go with me to the school a little bit early since I had a cheer meeting for my other daughter. It was my hope that I would be out of meeting in time to go with her to see “the list.” However, since I was still in my meeting she went on ahead with some friends to find out the results. As I came out of my meeting, her face said it all, no words needed to be spoken. My heart sank and broke for her all at once. I just wanted to pick her up and let her know it was all ok, that it’s not the end of the world, to which I tried my best. But in her determination she wanted me to see “it” for myself. Daughter #3 showing her gutsy, fireball side at this point, said in her words, “I’m not sad, I’m mad.” By the time we made our way to the “list” all those who had made it were celebrating, with very good reason, but this opened up the gate for the tears to fall.
Thankfully, Bill had gotten to the school by this time.
So as she took off crying around the outside of the school he followed her and took her on home. This was probably good, so I could have my own good cry! After I made it home I wrapped her up in my arms and told her how proud I was of her and the accomplishment of trying out and reminding her that out of that whole big school she was one of the 40 that “went for it.” From here I just listened, there would be a better time to share later.
These tryouts taught both of us some life lessons. For one, it is ok to give yourself permission to fail. That may sound weird at first, I understand, because I felt the same way when my husband first shared this insight with me. It sounds wrong because we have wired ourselves to succeed at all costs. Only problem is when we do fail, we fail to recognize some important truths. We only see the fail as a failure. For daughter #3, going ahead with tryouts was a win and success even though ultimately she failed to make the squad. One of the wins was her pushing through to the very end. She realized (and so did we) she could learn all the stuff in a short amount of time. That was huge for her and us! Our “fireball” also demonstrated in a more mature way her faith and trust in God for His plan for her life. As we talked about her prayer and the verse in Jeremiah 29:11 that says, 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” From this “fail” she now more than ever wants to search out with God the plans He has for her. The really cool part in all of this is she’s moving to the next and very important part of that verse which says 12 “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD.” Now, at night before bed, she reads her Bible longing to hear God speak the plans He has for her. In this waiting time of hearing God speak, she can’t help but grow closer to Christ and in her relationship with Him. To me, that doesn’t sound like a fail, but an experience for a lifetime that has eternal value and worth!
In the end she has learned cheering might not be best suited for her and the gifts God has given her. But how would she have known for sure had she not tried. Not only does she recognize more so where her strengths and abilities lie, but she also sees where other people’s are, like her older sister’s. This experience has caused her to have more respect for her older sister and the sport of cheerleading!
I think we could all learn a lesson here, namely, that it is ok to try things, (I’m hoping you’re understanding things that are legal, moral, upright… you get the picture). I have yet to regret going out for the crew team. I know what is required and what it feels like to be flying across the water asking forgiveness of every sin if God would just get me back to the land without dumping all my crewmates in the water! I also don’t regret trying ballet in college, even though I couldn’t quite pirouette like the others across the floor. I discovered that these things were fun, but not so much for me.
So go ahead and give yourself permission to fail, this may open up a whole new world for you! The only regret you might have is why you didn’t try it earlier. Who knows, you may even discover a fresh, new talent. It may also reinforce some traits and abilities you already know about yourself, that you are gifted in, and that’s where your focus needs to stay. For others, the “fail” may push you even harder to go after “it” with gusto, not to hold back, but to strive and train for the ultimate win, that of making the “team.” Sometimes our biggest fails may lead us to our greatest success!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
